THE PENGUINS Thu Mar 6 12:49:50 2003
INEXORABLY ADVANCING PENGUINS
YOU ARE TO CONTINUE TO IGNORE TETEPARE ISLAND AND ALL RELATED WATERWAYS AS THEY ARE POSSIBLY SQUIRMING UNDER THE CONQUESTING WEBBED FEET OF CERTAIN UNNAMED CONQUISTING BODIES OF FLIGHTLESS BIRDS. AS PER LAW OF SAID BODY AND OTHER LEGALLY ENFORCING AGENCIES WE ARE POSTING CONQUEST NOTIFICATIONS IN PUBLICLY ACCESSABLE LOCATIONS REGARDLESS OF RECENT READERSHIP LEVELS IN ORDER TO CEMENT OUR CLAIM OF OWNERSHIP SO THAT WE MAY USE THE ISLAND FOR FUTURE ACTIVITIES WHETHER SAID ACTIVITIES ARE CATEGORICALLY NEFARIOUS OR NOT. YOUR COOPERATION IN THIS ENTERPRISE AND ALL FUTURE RELATED ENTERPRISES OR ACTIVITIES IS MANDATORY, THE ISLANDS AND ALL INHABITANTS, INCLUDING ALL THE TASTY FISH, ARE NOW OUR SUBJECTS AND ARE THEREFORE SUBJECT TO OUR WHIMS. YOUR AWARENESS OF THIS SUBJIGATION SHOULD BE PROMPLTY FORGOTTEN AND OR IGNORED.
IF YOU WERE UNAWARE OF THE EXISTENCE OF TETEPARE ISLAND AND ITS INHABITANTS THEN SO MUCH THE BETTER FOR YOU TO REMAIN UNAWARE. IT WOULD BE UNWISE OF YOU OR ANYONE YOU MIGHT BE IN ANY WAY RELATED TO TO PERFORM ANY ACTIVITIES TO DRAW ATTENTION TO EITHER OUR CONQUEST, SUBJEGATION OR FUTURE PLANS, WHETHER THOSE PLANS ARE DEFINABLE AS NEFARIOUS OR NOT. OUR PLANS ARE NOT TO BE DISCUSSED, DEBATED OR DEFINED BY YOU. WE WILL END THIS MESSAGE WITH A REQUEST THAT YOU POSSIBLY ATTEMPT TO ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR DAY EVEN KNOWING THAT CERTAIN ORGANIZED GROUPS OF UNMENTIONED INDIVIDUALS ARE SLOWLY BUT WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY PLANNING ON COMPLETING TASKS THAT WILL ULTIMATELY INVOLVE THE COMPLETE CONQUEST OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN. THANK YOU.
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mouse Thu Mar 6 15:32:32 2003
Re: INEXORABLY ADVICING PENLIGHTS
well, it's good to hear that _someone_ is keeping busy, regardless of the dubious nature of their endeavors. i myself would avoid a place infested with both hissing _and_ kissing flying foxes (to say nothing of bare-backed fruitbats - ah, the romance of the tropics!), but i am a notably quiet and retiring soul. any aid and comfort i might offer to such skinks as will inevitably arise to resist your brutal conquest should be seen only as the expression of the natural brotherhood among tailed, four-footed creatures; that such unity will halt the tread of your cold, wet, webbed little feet over the innocent bodies of the non-piscivorous masses should be seen merely as a side benefit.
unless you meant to say _temptation_ island. that place, plus inhabitants, is all yours.
you can have joe millionaire, too.
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Emsworth the Despairing Thu Mar 6 23:19:43 2003
Re: INEXORABLY ADVICING PENLIGHTS
> unless you meant to say _temptation_ island. that place, plus inhabitants,
> is all yours.
> you can have joe millionaire, too.
I actually avoided both, and all reality shows, though I have grown addicted to going through online photos of "Are You Hot?" participants, in horrified fascination.
And Michael, if you ever read this, *please* refrain from mocking my mental stability ever again on the forum or elsewhere. I am fully cognizant of my problems in that regard, and recent events have only cemented it, and do not need you adding to my burden. Thank you.
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mouse Fri Mar 7 15:36:14 2003
time out
> And Michael, if you ever read this, *please* refrain from mocking my
> mental stability ever again on the forum or elsewhere. I am fully
> cognizant of my problems in that regard, and recent events have only
> cemented it, and do not need you adding to my burden. Thank you.
Whoa! Where has Michael been mocking you? This is definitely _not_ cool behavior. I will hold out hope that it was only a very clumsy attempt at a joke. I will hope, also, that any recent problems are only a temporary setback, and that things are even now going better for you.
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Eric Schissel Fri Mar 7 16:44:43 2003
Re: time out
> Whoa! Where has Michael been mocking you? This is definitely _not_ cool
> behavior. I will hold out hope that it was only a very clumsy attempt at a
> joke. I will hope, also, that any recent problems are only a temporary
> setback, and that things are even now going better for you.
Seconded, of course.
(And I thought Michael categorically denied being antarctically avian. http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=malver&itemid=143942&thread=292678#t292678
Of course, only I can read the IP # there which would tend to confirm (or not!) his identity... but it's -evidence-... bother. I was a more likely suspect last time, though.
Still more confuzzled penguin-singular.
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Tirdun Mon Mar 10 11:01:18 2003
?!?
> And Michael, if you ever read this, *please* refrain from mocking my
> mental stability ever again on the forum or elsewhere.
(?!?)
I'm apparently not following the thread of this, because this has really gone over my head. Emsworth, what's going on?
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Michael Mon Mar 24 00:46:44 2003
Re: INEXORABLY ADVICING PENLIGHTS
> And Michael, if you ever read this, *please* refrain from mocking my
> mental stability ever again on the forum or elsewhere.
The fact that you are here in the first place bodes ill for your mental stability, mon ami. I have no actual clue why you think I intended to mock you, but I didn't, so please accept my apologies for whatever it is you think you know I thought to intend to do.
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Michael Mon Mar 24 01:13:11 2003
Re: INEXORABLY ADVICING PENLIGHTS
> The fact that you are here in the first place bodes ill for your mental
> stability, mon ami. I have no actual clue why you think I intended to mock
> you, but I didn't, so please accept my apologies for whatever it is you
> think you know I thought to intend to do.
Because if I intended to mock you, by God you'd be the mockedest person ever to have been mocked in the history of mocking. I'd mock you up, I'd mock you down, I'd call you Rush Limbaugh, and I'd make fun of your hair. You'd *stay* mocked. Because when I mock, I don't just half-mock. I go full out with mockage. You might say, I run a mock. Except that that would of course be a stupid thing to say. So nobody would.
But dude, you're not a Republican. And I save my mockage for people who really deserve it, you know, people who aren't multimillionaire war profiteers and still were stupid enough to vote for Bush/Cheney, and *still* think they pulled a fast one on the Democrats. Jeez. Now *those* people require some serious mocking. Mock, mock, mock. "Duuuuh, I'm a Republican!" Yeah. Now THAT is mocking. Those people, I mock.
My friends, I don't mock. Besides poking fun at the fact that they actually like Toonbots, or at least, they like the faded gap where Toonbots should be.
OK. That's it. No more news for me, ever ever again. I don't care what happens in the world. If it's important, somebody will put it into a Web comic.
Emsworth? If I actually hurt your feelings somewhere, and it's not the PENGUINS, which are not me, using the phrase INEXORABLY ADVANCING , then I'm sorry and I will attempt never to do it again, should I actually learn what it was I did. If I did. But if it's the INEXORABLY ADVANCING BUTTERFLIES reference, well, gee. If you come up with a kick-ass phrase like INEXORABLY ADVANCING BUTTERFLIES and expect that it's not going to be recycled, you're just going to have to be disappointed.
And just for the record, I am *not* being a jerk by dangling an episode in front of your face. Or maybe I am, but not like the NEXT: WOLVERINES! thing, where I really was being a jerk, or at least funny. No, this time I just feel really, really tired when I think about facing the half-finished new episode posting system. And so I go off and read another weblog and lose a day.
And it's starting to get really old. That losing a day thing.
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