Toonbots archive - episode published 20020902

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THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT DOES NOT EXIST. ANY ATTEMPT ON THE PART OF THE METACARTOONIST OR ANY OTHER PERSONAGE TO PORTRAY THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT IS AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY, BECAUSE THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT NEITHER EXISTS NOR PARTAKES IN ANY EXISTENCE-LIKE ACTIVITIES EXCEPT FOR THE OCCASIONAL VISIT TO ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SEAFOOD BARS OR SUSHI RESTAURANTS. IT IS LIKEWISE RIDICULOUS TO ASSUME THAT THE METACARTOONIST COULD BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT BECAUSE THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT DOES NOT EXIST AND THUS CAN EXERT NO SUCH CONTROL. PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR PLACES OF BUSINESS AND CONTINUE ABOUT YOUR DAILY ACTIVITIES UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU ARE NOTIFIED THAT THE UNITED ARMED PENGUIN FRONT HAS COMMENCED EXISTENCE AND EXPECTS YOUR UTTER AND SLAVISH OBEDIENCE IN ALL MATTERS, ESPECIALLY SEAFOOD-RELATED.

The script used to make this toon:
<cartoon height="1200" width="600" rowformat="1"> <panel> <character name="lenin"/> <caption fgcolor="red" location="top middle">THE PENGUINS have taken over Mao! I don't know how, but they've swallowed up Mao.</caption> <caption fgcolor="red" location="bottom middle">Oh my, what now?</caption> </panel> <panel/> <panel> <caption fgcolor="red" location="top left">Must ...</caption> <caption fgcolor="black" location="bottom left" size="10">JUST</caption> <caption fgcolor="red" location="top middle">... resist ...</caption> <caption fgcolor="black" location="bottom middle" size="10">INSIST</caption> <caption fgcolor="red" location="top right">... ryhming!</caption> <caption fgcolor="black" location="bottom right" size="10">GOOD TIMING!</caption> </panel> <panel> <caption fgcolor="red" location="top middle">I cannot do it, rhyme's too strong.</caption> <caption fgcolor="red" location="bottom middle">But someone seemed to rhyme along...</caption> </panel> <panel> <caption fgcolor="red" location="top left" size="16">Who is there? Who can you be?</caption> <caption fgcolor="black" location="top right">SOMEONE HERE? THAT CANNOT BE!</caption> <caption fgcolor="black" location="bottom middle">WE DON'T EXIST, NOT ONE LITTLE BIT. SO MOVE ALONG, YOU DEAD RED TWIT!</caption> </panel> <panel> <caption fgcolor="red" location="top middle" size="16">Ha! You think I'm quite that dumb?!? You just spoke, or my brain's gone numb!</caption> <character name="penguins" aspect="sinister"/> <caption fgcolor="black" location="bottom middle">OK, GOOD POINT, WE'LL GIVE YOU THAT. IT STILL WON'T HELP. WE'RE UP TO BAT.</caption> </panel> </cartoon>