Toonbots message board: Whither and thither and whence?

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Emsworth the Good Tue Sep 23 14:28:17 2003
Whither and thither and whence?

>Travel plans have changed -- we got an even *better* deal on a ship coming >back. $545 for two people (that's $1090 for four, you see, and again recall >the seven days of luxury and day care) from Southampton to NYC, arriving Sep. >21 -- Jenn? You guys going to be in town that day? Wouldn't mind seeing you!

So Jenn, did you meet Michael? Did he contact you at all? Is he lounging around Dusseldorf or have the penguins succeeded in working their terrible dance after all?

Jenn Tue Sep 23 14:52:37 2003
The Long Awaited Report!

I know you've all been eagerly waiting to hear if I did meet Michael and if he went peacefully into the large glass jar in my basement.

Now, read carefully, because I'm only going to report on meeting Michael once. And here it is.

...( )...

What? That's the report.

What? Right there, in between the parentheses.

Michael led me on and then didn't deliver, sad to say. He told me when they were arriving and that he was taking a car so wouldn't need a place to crash. And then didn't contact me at all. Unless our email disappeared it again. Possible, but I checked spamtrap this time, so that's not likely.

Unless the penguins have him.

It's become a challenge now. I have friends in Illinois. It wouldn't be hard to arrive on his doorstep with one Napoleon in tow. Well, okay. It wouldn't be particularly easy, but still.

mouse the downcast Wed Sep 24 18:35:53 2003
Re: The Long Awaited Report!

well, _this_ is not good. don't suppose the ship delayed, or anything, to avoid the hurricane?

really, for someone the children, the metacartoonist can be rather irresponsible....

Jenn Thu Sep 25 12:01:31 2003
Well...

To be perfectly honest, I kind of neglected to give him a phone number or any means other than email with which to contact me. Because I am silly.

So it is partially my fault. Especially if he was delayed because of hurricanes. I sense the deviousness of the penguins at foot. Just like them to cause a hurricane to thwart me.

mouse Thu Sep 25 16:22:18 2003
Re: Well...

> To be perfectly honest, I kind of neglected to give him a phone number or
> any means other than email with which to contact me. Because I am silly.

> So it is partially my fault. Especially if he was delayed because of
> hurricanes. I sense the deviousness of the penguins at foot. Just like
> them to cause a hurricane to thwart me.

well, we _could_ continue to blame michael - i mean, how many 'jenns' can there be in the new york city phone directory?

but there is a definite appeal to blaming it on the penguins. although i'm not sure they frequent iceland.

we could blame it on the auks, just for variety.....

Eric Schissel Sat Sep 27 09:06:18 2003
Re: Well...

> well, we _could_ continue to blame michael - i mean, how many 'jenns' can
> there be in the new york city phone directory?

> but there is a definite appeal to blaming it on the penguins. although i'm
> not sure they frequent iceland.

> we could blame it on the auks, just for variety.....

And the seds. There are a few of those, and you can always replace them.

Ill news, any road.

Brother Emsworth Mon Oct 6 21:12:06 2003
Michael Lives!

In a house full of mold. Duct taping his children to bed. Still overwhelmed by work. So we can rest assured it was mere overwork and general jerkitude. He regrets not encountering any hurricane induced waves on the ship.

Michael Mon Oct 6 22:05:04 2003
Michael from the Black Lagoon

> In a house full of mold.

Not now, though. However, I will say that whatever Sauder pasteboard furniture is made of, it appears to be really, really digestible for fungus.

And it wasn't just the house, either. The car had white fuzz on the seats and green and yellow patches on the carpet....

Anyway, nothing that eight packages of Lysol Wipes and a bottle of Clorox and a week's work couldn't fix, while of course working on the final stages of my wife's dissertation and keeping the customers from firing me.

In other words: a normal week in the secret subterranean base.

> Duct taping his children to bed.

It's effective! And so inexpensive!

> Still
> overwhelmed by work.

And underwhelmed by pay.

> So we can rest assured it was mere overwork and
> general jerkitude.

Exactly.

> He regrets not encountering any hurricane induced waves
> on the ship.

I felt somewhat -- no, I felt really shortchanged. Here I was, expecting to see the dramatic North Atlantic's fury at its highest. Instead, all I got were a bunch of beautiful sunsets. Not a single person hurled over the railing or *anything*.

mouse Tue Oct 7 16:15:51 2003
Re: Michael from the Black Lagoon

huzzah! huzzah! the metacartoonist lives!

> And it wasn't just the house, either. The car had white fuzz on the seats
> and green and yellow patches on the carpet....

> Anyway, nothing that eight packages of Lysol Wipes and a bottle of Clorox
> and a week's work couldn't fix,

my, how....colorful. and if that fails, you can always try just painting the car with kilz.

> It's effective! And so inexpensive!

and, it keeps them out of the fungus...

> I felt somewhat -- no, I felt really shortchanged. Here I was, expecting
> to see the dramatic North Atlantic's fury at its highest. Instead, all I
> got were a bunch of beautiful sunsets.

all together now: ahhh, poor baby.

> Not a single person hurled over the
> railing or *anything*.

next time you should take napoleon. i can see the art of defenestration reaching whole new depths....

Michael Mon Oct 6 22:14:03 2003
Re: The Long Awaited Report!

> ...( )...

Sorry, Jenn. I *did* get your email. And the same day, my server went belly-up, and me with no telnet access. A friend of mine emailed my ISP and they ignored him. I finally managed to convince them to reboot the machine. At which point, my client server went belly-up, and no, the two phenomena appear to have been completely unrelated.

At which point I basically said, F*** it, if the world's going to treat me like that, I'm going to bed. And I slept for two days and ignored everybody. Sorry you got ignored along with it.

As it turned out, had I actually treated you with the respect you deserve, you would have showed up around 10 AM, and waited for three hours for our lovely government to allow us all to disembark. You never know how many terrorists are sneaking in on those cruise ships, after all.

Upon finally attaining freedom, I went directly to the National rental place, drove straight back to the port (it took roughly an hour from 252 W. 40th to get to the port; five ships in port at once means that all of Manhattan was in traffic with me), loaded the luggage into the handily gigantic American SUV, and drove directly to the Lincoln Tunnel, then took the first road that said "West". And that was our sojourn in your lovely city.

I'll admit, about 2:30 with no lunch, I regretted not having imposed on you. But it was too late by then.






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