Toonbots message board: [did i break it daddy?]

Jenn Wed Mar 6 09:39:25 2002 It was the gremlins, I swear. I posted! Well, I wrote something that took a long time and then when I went back later, it was gone, vanished into the cosmos. I thought I posted it. Then I thought maybe Michael made it so that it would /look/ like I had posted, when actually all my posts were going to the great beyond, since I had the audacity to suggest splinter groups, holy wars, and general Jihad mayhem. But then I posted it again (down there) and it did post, so I had to absolve Michael of all potential blame and apologize for even thinking he could be so underhanded. Publically. Which was quite humiliating, let me tell you! It wasn't until they started throwing the eggs and tomatoes that I realized that this might well be the end of the line. And they weren't even devilled eggs.

Emsworth Wed Mar 6 12:44:52 2002 Re: It was the gremlins, I swear. MR. BUG GOES TO TOWN (1940) A Fleischer Studios Production released by Paramount Pictures. Producer: Max Fleischer; Director: Dave Fleischer; Story: Dave Fleischer, Dan Gordon, Ted Pierce, Isadore Sparber, William Turner, Carl Meyer, Graham Place, Bob Wickersham, Cal Howard; Music director: Leigh Harline; Music & lyrics: Hoagy Carmichael, Frank Loesser, Sammy Timberg; Directing animators: Willard Bowsky, Myron Waldman, Thomas Johnson, David Tendlar, James Culhane (Opening sequence), H. C. Ellison, Stan Quackenbush, Graham Place (Honey Bee); Animation: Bob Wickersham, Abner Kneitel, Irving Spector, Louis Zukor, Nelson Demorest, Harold Walker, Joseph D’Igalo, Sam Stimson, Thomas Golden, Reuben Grossman, Lod Rossner, Gordon Sheehan, Dick Williams, Hal Seeger, Winfield Hoskins, George Waiss, Anthony DiPadla, John Walworth; Scenics: Robert Little, Shane Miller, Hemia Calpini, Eddie Bowlds, Anton Loeb, Robert Connovale, Marjorie Young. Songs: “We’re the Couple in the Castle,” “Katy-Did, Katy-Didn’t,” “Bee My Little Baby Bumblebee” (Carmichael, Loesser), “I’ll Dance at Your Wedding (Honey Bee)” “Boy, Oh Boy” (by Loesser and Timburg). Running time: 78 minutes. Voices: Dick Dickens: Kenny Gardner; Mary Dickens: Gwen Williams; Mr. Bumble, Swat the Fly, Others: Jack Mercer; C. Bagley Beetle: Ted Pierce; Smack the Mosquito: Carl Meyer; Hoppity: Stan Freed; Honey Bee: Pauline Loth; Chorus Bugs: The Four Marshals, The Royal Guards; Jeepers Creepers: Pinto Colvig; Mrs. Ladybug, Buzz: Margie Hines

Jenn Thu Mar 7 09:18:18 2002 Yay! He can type! Look, everyone! Emsy's recovered enough that he can type again! Hooray! Did I inadvertantly describe the plot to a comic from the 40's that I've never seen again? It troubles me that I continue to do this. Perhaps I should start wearing a tin foil hat to sleep so that the penguins can't control my thoughts anymore. Or my grammar.

Brother Emsworth Fri Mar 8 11:35:30 2002 Re: Yay! He can type! > Look, everyone! Emsy's recovered enough that he can type again! Hooray! Indeed! Probably should have mentioned it earlier, but about a week ago, they removed the dressing from my arm and gave me a removeable splint instead. Apart from being necessary for physical therapy, this also allows me to type with both hands again (as the left is now completely free once again), and doesn't weigh me down as much as the heavy dressings had done, thus making it easier to sleep at nights and allowing for greater freedom of movement and greater ease when transferring from wheelchair to bed or car seat and vice versa and so forth. And thanks for the congratulations.

Michael Thu Mar 7 21:57:45 2002 Re: It was the gremlins, I swear. > MR. BUG GOES TO TOWN (1940) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love you all!

Brother Emsworth Fri Mar 8 11:17:45 2002 Re: It was the gremlins, I swear. PINOCCHIO IN OUTER SPACE (1965) A Swallow/Belvision Production released by Universal Pictures. Producers: Norm Prescott, Fred Ladd; Director: Ray Goosens; Writer: Fred Laderman (based on an idea by Prescott from the story by Carlo Collodi); Music: F. Leonard, H. Dobelaere, E. Schurmann (arranged & conducted by Billy Mure); Music/lyrics: Robert Sharp, Arthur Korb; Animation directors: Willy Lateste, Vivien Miessen; Animation: Bob Zicot, Eddie Lateste, Nic Broca, Luc Maezello. Songs: “Little Toy Shoppe,” “Doin’ the Impossible,” “Goody Good Morning.” Running time: 71 minutes. Voices: Nurtle the Turtle: Arnold Stang; Pinocchio: Peter Lazer; Gepetto: Jess Cain; Blue Fairy: Mavis Mims; G. Codline Sharp: Conrad Jameson; Blue Fairy’s Mother: Minerva Pious; Groovy the Cat: Cliff Owens (Ray Owens); TV Reporter: Norman Rose; Scientist: Kevin Kennedy

mouse Wed Mar 6 16:25:20 2002 to arms! it _has_ been quiet around here....._too_ quiet... (cue dramatic music) personally, i think it's the penguins. THAT'S IT! - michael has been kidnapped by penguins, which is why you haven't been awarded your title yet - penguins don't do titles, they rejoice in their uniformed uniformitivity. they are holding michael hostage as part of their nefarious plot to TAKE OVER ALL THE COMICS, thus indoctrinating innocent americans to wear formal clothing and eat raw fish (with heads). probably that whole 'lenin' comic thing is a front (i mean, a _literal_ meta'toonist - we should have known better) - the penguins _made_ the metacartoonist type that, and _they_ will be scripting the toon, and laughing as we dance to their polka of doom! they're already gaining control! you doubt me? - just type in http://lenin.keenspace.com/ and see where you get. that's right - the heart of KEENSPOT itself (they are boring from within). ARISE, JIHAD! we must put aside petty factional disputes, and free our beloved leader from the webbed feet of the Spheniscid horde! from the tickling of their scalelike feathers, and the constant diet of anchovies! spinclad, corral those atoms! emsworth, marshal the wolverines! tirdun, work on that death-ray thing! jenn, bring the jello! FORWARD! well, actually, maybe not _forward_, precisely...may have to reconnoiter.....where did that hole thing go?

THE PENGUINS Thu Mar 7 06:58:42 2002 Re: to arms! WE HAVE NOT KIDNAPPED MICHAEL. WE ARE NOT TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. THERE IS NO UNIFIEED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. THOSE PENGUINS OVER THERE ARE NOT FORCEFEEDING PEOPLE RAW FISH. MMMM RAW FISH IS GOOD. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME RAW FISH? OF COURSE YOU WOULD. TAKE THE RAW FISH NOW. EAT IT. EAT IT OR MICHAEL GETS IT. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THOSE PENGUINS CARRYING THE PLATE GLASS WINDOW ACROSS THE STREET. THEY ARE INNOCENT WORKERS DOING THEIR JOB. YOUR ANTI-PENGUIN HYSTERIA IS NOT FOUNDED IN FACT. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. YOU SHOULD NOT FEAR THE UNIFORMITY. IT IS GOOD. CONSIDER THE PEACE OF MIND AND SIMPLICITY OF SPIRIT OF WEARING FORMAL ATTIRE ALL THE TIME. YOU SHOULD GO CHANGE YOUR CLOTHING RIGHT NOW. WEAR BLACK. YOU MUST NOT FEAR US YET. IT IS NOT YET TIME. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. MICHAEL IS JUST FINE. LENIN DOT KEENSPACE DOT COM IS NOT A FRONT FOR THE UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT BECAUSE THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. THERE IS ALSO NO PENGUIN REVOLUTIONARY PEOPLES ARMY. NOR IS THERE A PENGUIN FISH CATCHING UNION THAT WE ARE ALL REQUIRED TO BELONG TO AND PAY DUES TO BUT SOMEHOW WE NEVER SEE THE BENEFITS OF THE DUES NOR HAVE WE SEEN ANY OF THE MANAGEMENT PENGUINS LATELY BUT ONE DAY YOU WILL ALSO NOT BELONG TO THE PENGUIN FISH CATCHING UNION AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND. MICHAEL HAS NOT BEEN KIDNAPPED BY PENGUINS. THERE ARE NO PENGUINS. WE ARE NOT PENGUINS. WE ARE PUFFINS AND PEOPLE DRESSED AS LINUX MASCOTS. WE ARE CERTAINLY NOT MEMBERS OF THE UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. YOU SHOULD NOT BE COWERING IN ABJECT FEAR AS WE HAVE NOT YET LAUNCED OUR FIRST MAJOR OFFENSIVE BECAUSE THE PROPAGANDA MATERIAL CAME BACK FROM THE PRINTERS WITH ALL SORTS OF WIERD GREEN INK ON IT AND WE DIDN'T EVEN USE GREEN IN THE PAMPHLETS OR THE GLOSSY HANDBILLS. HOW MUCH GREEN DO YOU NEED FOR PENGUINS AND SNOW, NONE, THATS HOW MUCH. PLUS YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO PRING GLOSSY HANDBILLS, OR HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS TO HAVE SOMEONE LOOK AT IT FOR A SECOND AND THEN THROW IT IN THE TRASH WITHOUT EVER READING ABOUT HOW HAVING PENGUIN MASTERS WOULD GREATLY IMPROVE YOUR LOVE LIVES. THOSE THINGS COST LIKE A NICKLE A PIECE WHICH REALLY ADDS UP. REMEMBER, HOWEVER, THAT NO MATTER WHAT YOU'VE HEARD THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT AND WE ARE NOT TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. MICHAEL IS NOT OUR PRISONER.

Jenn Thu Mar 7 09:13:04 2002 The plot thickens. > MMMM RAW FISH IS GOOD. So the penguins are Japanese. Good lord, it goes deeper than we thought, it's a world wide conspiracy! I'll be right back, I have to start stock piling wasabi in a knee jerk panic reaction. > YOUR ANTI-PENGUIN HYSTERIA IS NOT FOUNDED IN FACT. What the penguins are forgetting here is that nothing we ever rant on is founded in fact, and that has not ever stopped us from ranting before, nor is it likely to stop us in the future. Sloppy research. They should fire the Italian who did the intelligence reporting on us. > THERE ARE NO PENGUINS. WE ARE NOT PENGUINS. WE ARE PUFFINS AND PEOPLE > DRESSED AS LINUX MASCOTS. Ah-ha! So...Linus Torvalis is actually a member of the Unified Penguin Armed Front! It's all starting to come together for me. He comes from (Finland? Sweden?) a Nordic country, where they /also/ eat a lot of fish.

THE PENGUINS Thu Mar 7 15:52:03 2002 Re: The plot thickens. > So the penguins are Japanese. THE UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT RECOGNIZES NO POLITICAL ENTITIES. THE UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT RECOGNIZES NO GEOGRAPHIC BOUNDRIES. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. > What the penguins are forgetting here is that nothing we ever rant on is > founded in fact, and that has not ever stopped us from ranting before, nor > is it likely to stop us in the future. WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND THESE RULES OF RANTING. YOU ARE CONFUSING US OR PERHAPS YOU ARE TO SLY FOR THE PENGUINS TO TRULY FATHOM. > Sloppy research. They should fire > the Italian who did the intelligence reporting on us. AS STATED, WE DO NOT RECOGNIZE GEOGRAPHIC BOUNDRIES. HE WAS FROM HUNGARIA. > Ah-ha! So...Linus Torvalis is actually a member of the Unified Penguin > Armed Front! It's all starting to come together for me. He comes from > (Finland? Sweden?) a Nordic country, where they /also/ eat a lot of fish. NO BUT WE EXPECT HIM TO SURRENDER ANY DAY NOW. WE ARE PLANNING COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IN YOUR COURTS ALTHOUGH WE DO NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR COURTS. NO DO WE RECOGNIZE YOUR JUDGES, JUDICIAL SYSTEM, FREE MARKET SYSTEM, AND/OR SOLAR SYSTEM. WE DO LIKE THE BLACK ROBES AND WHITE WIGS OF THOSE WHO LIVE IN THE GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION WE DO NOT RECOGNIZE AS ENGLAND. THEY LOOK LIKE PENGUINS. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT.

mouse Thu Mar 7 17:37:46 2002 Re: The plot thickens. > HE WAS FROM HUNGARIA. hungaria? where do i know that from? wait a minute here - i need to check the archives.......

mouse Thu Mar 7 17:49:07 2002 Re: The plot thickens. and speaking of suspicious....anyone else notice that THE PENGUINS already have a post listed....EVEN THOUGH TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY THEY POSTED???? PROOF!! unhand that Cursed Thread Reaper, Fowl Fiends! (oh, yea, and michael, too) (not that i'm compulsively checking the standings or anything....i mean, i hardly even _think_ of them anymore, i was just, ummmmm....Checking for spinclad's title! yeah, that's right, checking for his title, and i just _happened_ to notice THE PENGUINS there, and i thought, gee, that's suspicious, and.....LOOK OUT FOR THE PENGUINS!!!!)

spinclad Thu Mar 7 22:24:13 2002 Re: The plot thickens. > and speaking of suspicious....anyone else notice that THE PENGUINS already > have a post listed....EVEN THOUGH TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY THEY POSTED???? > PROOF!! unhand that Cursed Thread Reaper, Fowl Fiends! (oh, yea, and > michael, too) > (not that i'm compulsively checking the standings or anything....i mean, i > hardly even _think_ of them anymore, i was just, ummmmm....Checking for > spinclad's title! yeah, that's right, checking for his title, and i just > _happened_ to notice THE PENGUINS there, and i thought, gee, that's > suspicious, and.....LOOK OUT FOR THE PENGUINS!!!!) yeah, but do THEY have a title??? No!!! THERE IS NO UNTITLED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT!!!! (me neither. never. furthest from my mind.)

Jenn Fri Mar 8 09:44:01 2002 Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! Now they have a title! Cripes! (Yes, I sometimes speak in Velma. Sue me.) (Wait. She might have said Crikey. Or is that British? I'm sure Emsy will clear me up in just a moment.) (So who said 'Cripes', other than my grandmother?) (Where was I?) (Oh, yeah.) I think the penguins have turned on their ultimate weapon, the Stream Of Consciousness Machine, and aimed it directly at my head. (How can you tell?) (Shut up.) The penguins must have only been /pretending/ to release Michael, as he's clearly still under their power, since they have a title now! It's a clever plot within a plot, a circle within a circle... (Crop circles. Alien Penguins. Alex Trebek penguins.) We will not be fooled! (or sidetracked) Jello power activate!

THE PENGUINS Fri Mar 8 11:15:00 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > (Yes, I sometimes speak in Velma. Sue me.) YES. LAWSUITS WILL BE A CORNERSTONE OF THE INVASION. ALL YOUR LAWYERS WILL BOW TO US. WE HAVE STUDIED USING THE FINEST MAILORDER LEGAL INSTRUCTIONS THAT WE COULD AFFORD. > (Wait. She might have said Crikey. Or is that British? I'm sure Emsy will > clear me up in just a moment.) SHE SAID JINKIES. FEAR OUR DEEP KNOWLEDGE OF HOPELESSLY REPETITIVE TELEVISION CARTOONS. WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND JINKIES BUT IT WILL NOT HINDER OUR PLANS. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENUIN ARMED FRONT. > (So who said 'Cripes', other than my grandmother?) > (Where was I?) > (Oh, yeah.) YOUR EXTENSIVE USE OF NONALPHANUMERIC CHARACTERS IS PLEASING TO THE UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. YOUR MENTAL SUBJIGATION WILL BE SHORT AND ONLY MILDLY AGONIZING. BASK IN OUR MERCY. > I think the penguins have turned on their ultimate weapon, the Stream Of > Consciousness Machine, and aimed it directly at my head. > (How can you tell?) > (Shut up.) SUCH A VAST UNDERSTANDING OF MENTAL COMBAT IS SOMEWHAT CONCERNING TO US. WE HAD THOUGHT ONLY THE LEMUR POSSESSED THIS LEVEL OF PROWESS. THOSE SPIES WHO REPORTED THAT YOU COULD NOT MAKE SUCH DIZZYING LEAPS OF CONSCIOUS THOUGHT WILL BE THE FIRST TO TEST FOR KILLER WHALES TODAY. > The penguins must have only been /pretending/ to release Michael, as he's > clearly still under their power, since they have a title now! It's a > clever plot within a plot, a circle within a circle... > (Crop circles. Alien Penguins. Alex Trebek penguins.) > We will not be fooled! > (or sidetracked) > Jello power activate! WE WERE NOT EXPECTING SUCH HIGH LEVEL NEGOTIATIONS TODAY, BUT OUR RAW FISH WILL CRUSH YOUR JELLO POWER AS SOON AS WE SEE FIT TO UNLEASH IT UPON YOU WITHOUT RESPITE. FEAR US. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENUIN ARMED FRONT.

Brother Emsworth Fri Mar 8 11:25:03 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! >THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENUIN ARMED FRONT. Obviously even shadowy organizations of penguins are far from infallible. While typographical errors are not uncommon in electronic communication, it's generally thought of as a human failing, not a penguin one. The preceding statement may be indicative of a particular weak spot which has yet to be significantly exploited. And pity BoxJam is absent at present. He has vast experience in combatting penguins. (Though I can't help but fear that this particular conversational trend is a bit too detached from reality and from the feast of reason and flow of soul which can arise from even marginally rational discourse. But que sera sera and all that rot.)

mouse Fri Mar 8 13:33:38 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > Obviously even shadowy organizations of penguins are far from infallible. > While typographical errors are not uncommon in electronic communication, > it's generally thought of as a human failing, not a penguin one. The > preceding statement may be indicative of a particular weak spot which has > yet to be significantly exploited. actually i have noticed several spelling/typos....i feel certain that a careful analysis of this will reveal the identity of the penguins among us (clearly we have been infiltrated). i was going to write a clever program to search all past postings for the pattern of typos and inconsistent usage of 'to' as both adverb and preposition, together with occurrance of uncharacteristic (but character-driven) words, but i was foiled by the destruction of the archives (and little details like occasionally having to work at my job). > And pity BoxJam is absent at present. He has vast experience in combatting > penguins. clearly we can use all the help we can get. (especially since they _yell_ all the time) > (Though I can't help but fear that this particular conversational trend is > a bit too detached from reality and from the feast of reason and flow of > soul which can arise from even marginally rational discourse. But que sera > sera and all that rot.) pope, right? (tirdun - i never realized you had it in you!) and i'm _always_ rational, and even reasoned. besides, THE PENGUINS started it.

mouse Fri Mar 8 14:17:39 2002 this week's recipe: crepes thickened with feathers you know, i just realized, now the crepes have thickened properly, we could fill them with the fried eggs; this would make a lovely luncheon entree, accompanied by green jello and fresh raw anchovies, and we can use the feathers as a garnish, and consume it with more gusto! (if you guys are going to ignore my beautiful 'fowl fiend' pun, well - you'll just have to take the consequences)

THE PENGUINS Mon Mar 11 08:05:16 2002 Re: this week's recipe: crepes thickened with feat > you know, i just realized, now the crepes have thickened properly, we > could fill them with the fried eggs; YOUR CASUAL CONSUMPTION OF THE UNFERTILIZED EGGS OF LOWER AVIANS IS REPULSIVE. > this would make a lovely luncheon > entree, accompanied by green jello and fresh raw anchovies, WE ARE QUITE FOND OF GEL-BASED FOOD PRODUCTS AND ANY SORT OF FISH. GEL PRODUCTS SET QUITE NICELY IN THE FROZEN ICE AND YOU CAN SUSPEND FISH PARTS WITHIN THE GEL AND SET IT IN SHAPES TO PRODUCE ARTISTIC MEALS THAT INSPIRE OUR ARMIES TO GREATER GLORY. WE ARE STILL MIFFED ABOUT THE EGGS THOUGH. > and we can use > the feathers as a garnish, and consume it with more gusto! WE ARE GREATLY LACKING IN GARNISH ON THE FROZEN SHEETS OF ICE THAT ARE CURRENTLY OUR COMMAND CENTER. WE WILL GREATLY ENJOY CONFISCATING YOUR GARNISH. HESITATE IN HANDING OVER GARNISH AT YOUR OWN PERIL. > (if you guys are going to ignore my beautiful 'fowl fiend' pun, well - > you'll just have to take the consequences) WE DID NOT RECOGNIZE IT AS SUCH. WE ARE INDEED FOWL AND FIENDS BUT THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT.

JENN Mon Mar 11 09:25:49 2002 Leaps of Mental Something or Another Well, I was going to answer the penguins and their strangely flattering post about something that I'm having difficulty remembering now. But suddenly I feel all warm and friendly towards them. Almost as though they might have been right all along. I Enjoy Formal Attire. And Fish Products Are Really QUite TAsty WHen ACCompanied BY RITZ CRACkers. WAIT. I FEEL A LITTle QUEASy. AND MY HEAD ACHES A LITTLe. IS THAT A HERRINg? WHY IS ALEX TREBEK WEARINg a PENGUIn SUIT?

THE PENGUINS Mon Mar 11 11:20:43 2002 Re: Leaps of Mental Something or Another UNLESS YOU ARE JENN YOU ARE ORDERED TO IGNORE THE PREVIOUS POST AND THE TEXT BELOW. JUST AS THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT, THERE IS ALSO NO HYPNOPENGUINOBEAM AND THERE IS CERTAINLY NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT THE PENGUIN POSTS. CERTAINLY NOT THIS ONE. > Well, I was going to answer the penguins and their strangely flattering > post about something that I'm having difficulty remembering now. YOU SHOULD GO BACK AND READ THE PREVIOUS PENGUIN POSTS. PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE VOWELS AND THE SPACINGS BETWEEN THE WORDS THAT START WITH "T". THERE IS NOTHING TO NOTICE. THE FEELING OF PEACE SHOULD GROW STRONGER. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. YOU WOULD LIKE SOME JELLO NOW. > But suddenly I feel all warm and friendly towards them. Almost as though > they might have been right all along. I Enjoy Formal Attire. And Fish > Products Are Really QUite TAsty WHen ACCompanied BY RITZ CRACkers. THEY ARE QUITE TASTY. SOON THE CRACKERS WILL BE SUPERFLUOUS. FISH IS GOOD FOR YOU. ENJOY THE FISH. ENJOY THE FROZEN ICE. FORMAL ATTIRE IS FLATTERING AND MAKES YOU LOOK TALLER AND REGAL. PENGUINS ARE SUPERIOR BEINGS. > WAIT. I FEEL A LITTle QUEASy. AND MY HEAD ACHES A LITTLe. IT WILL SOON PASS. SOME FISH WOULD MAKE THAT FEEL BETTER. TAKE THE FISH AND EAT THE FISH AND ENJOY THE FISH. CLEAR YOUR MIND AND THINK OF WHITE ICE AND WHITE SKIES AND IGNORE THOSE PENGUINS WHO ARE MOVING YOUR FURNITURE. > IS THAT A HERRINg? WHY IS ALEX TREBEK WEARINg a PENGUIn SUIT? YES. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. YOU ANSWERED IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION WHICH IS NO LONGER A REQUIREMENT.

JENN Mon Mar 11 12:46:34 2002 THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN FRONT WHAT IS, "THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN FRONT?" WHAT IS, "THIS BLACK EVENING GOWN WITH WHITE NECKLACE MAKES ME LOOK TALL AND REGAL?" WHAT IS, "FISH JELLO?"

mouse Mon Mar 11 14:27:41 2002 Re: THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN FRONT > WHAT IS, "THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN FRONT?" ding! slogan for the united armed penguin front! > WHAT IS, "THIS BLACK EVENING GOWN WITH WHITE NECKLACE MAKES ME LOOK > TALL AND REGAL?" ding! probably optimistic (unless you are really allison janney) > WHAT IS, "FISH JELLO?" ding! really disgusting. so what do i win, alex? alex????? gee, alex, you really don't look well....

ALEX TREBEC Wed Mar 13 07:38:07 2002 Re: THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN FRONT > so what do i win, alex? alex????? gee, alex, you really don't look > well.... I FEEL FINE. HAVE A FISH. IT IS VERY GOOD FISH. YOU LIKE MY TUXEDO. YOU LIKE THE FISH. EAT THE FISH. IT IS A LOVELY PARTING GIFT. TRY MY PHONICS GAME. VOWELS ARE IMPORTANT.

Tirdun Fri Mar 8 14:21:47 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > pope, right? (tirdun - i never realized you had it in you!) What? The Papacy has no comment on the penguins. They are beneath us ;)

spinclad Wed Mar 13 13:22:09 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > Obviously even shadowy organizations of penguins are far from infallible. > While typographical errors are not uncommon in electronic communication, > it's generally thought of as a human failing, not a penguin one. The > preceding statement may be indicative of a particular weak spot which has > yet to be significantly exploited. One observes SUBJIGATION as well. Perhaps they wish to bring an unconscious impulse to dance sub jugum? Could we develop the impulse through carefully timed puns until they fall over helplessly? What may we infer as to identity, physiology (fin to keyboard), steganography, access and response timing, cosmography (clearly dualist, black and white)?

mouse Wed Mar 13 16:19:27 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > One observes SUBJIGATION as well. Perhaps they wish to bring an > unconscious impulse to dance sub jugum? Could we develop the impulse > through carefully timed puns until they fall over helplessly? i like this tactic - puns, wordplay and nonsequiturs of all types could well be our best weapons (despite their attempt to suborn alex trebeck) > What may we > infer as to identity actually, i think you have made significant (if unintentional) progress in your attempt to garner aid.....we must never forget the 'toon, or the clues left us by the meta'toonist (one hint: brunching shuttlecocks) the penguins may not be what they seem.......

Jenn Thu Mar 14 09:26:15 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > i like this tactic - puns, wordplay and nonsequiturs of all types could > well be our best weapons (despite their attempt to suborn alex trebeck) Lime jello and Alex Trebeck in black tube socks. I'm telling you. Oh, no, wait. See...all this chatter about lime jello /is/ a pun. On ummm...geez. I just remembered a long time ago, when Michael used to put up a toon and Emsworth would interpret it? Do you remember? I don't think they noticed. Good.

THE PENGUINS Thu Mar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

mouse Thu Mar 14 16:20:31 2002 Re: THERE IS NO PLOT > WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR PUNS OR NONSEQUITURS, BUT THEY ARE OF NO USE > AGAINST US. 'transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises' was always my favorite pun-ch line (sorry). > YOUR MIND TRICKS WILL NOT STOP US FROM OUR UNSTATED GOALS WHICH YOU ARE > NOT PRIVY TO. WE ALSO DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR REFERENCE SPECIFICALLY TO > LIME JELLO AS ALL GEL BASED FOOD PRODUCTS ARE WELL LOVED BY THE PENGUINS. > THEY ARE TASTY AND EASY TO SWALLOW. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN FRONT. from today's new york times (in the home&garden section): The Guru of Goo (and Gels, Mesh and Resin) "Mr. Beylerian plans to take the security theme to the International Milan Furniture Fair next month. He asked designers to name five products they associated with safety. He is still tallying responses. One suggested cages for some Washington politicians, with breathing tubes in case global warming raises sea level over their heads. It was the sort of prankish misuse Mr. Beylerian appreciates." > ALEX TREBEC HAS NOT CHANGED. HE HAS ALWAYS WORN FORMAL WEAR AND EATEN > FISH. YOU CAN CONTINUE TO BLINDLY TRUST HIM AS YOUR FAVORITE AND MOST > TRUSTED GAME SHOW PERSONALITY. CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT HIS INCREDIBLE > INTELLECT AND VAST KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR CULTURE SHOULD MAKE HIM YOUR > UNDISPUTED LEADER? well, yes, that and his patience....somehow these are never electable combinations. TRUST HIM. i do. HAVE SOME FISH. thanks! you can have my carrot-prune-pecan power bar in exchange. > YOUR FEAR OF VOWEL COMBINATIONS IMPLIES THAT YOU ARE EITHER PARANOID AND > STRANGELY PHOBIC OR THAT YOU READ A SPECIFIC MESSAGE THAT WAS NOT INTENDED > FOR YOU TO READ AND THUS YOU MISTAKENLY INFERRED SOME THREAT FROM THE > VOWEL PATTERNS IN THE MESSAGES THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO READ. vowel fiends! i will oppose your consonant challenges! > MAKE SURE > YOU READ THE MESSAGES THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO READ OVER AND OVER. no no no - i'm the one who _posts_ over and over. i don't have time to actually _read_ anything. > IT WILL > HELP YOU TO FULLY GRASP THE MEANING. THERE IS NOTHING SUBLIMINAL ABOUT > THOSE MESSAGES WHICH WILL ALLOW FOR THE DOMINATION OF THE UNIFIED PENGUIN > FRONT BECAUSE THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN FRONT. you know, my calendar page this week has penguins on it (grey and black ones, as it happens - funny the keenspot forum should suddenly go to that color scheme - and in the interests of making things 'stable', forsooth...and if they insist on sending people to their main page, when are they going to alphabetize the silly thing so one doesn't spend the _entire_ day trying to spot which one you want?) anyway...what was i saying? oh, yeah, the calendar...it has 2 penguins, and what with their fronts being all white, they do look pretty unified....(and they are pretty gosh-darned cute)

Brother Emsworth Thu Mar 14 19:13:16 2002 THERE IS NO PLOT OR EVIDENT CONCLUSION > no no no - i'm the one who _posts_ over and over. i don't have time to > actually _read_ anything. That suddenly explains quite a bit. The penguins also continue to be confused in matters of spelling. The surname of the host of "Jeopardy!" is "Trebek," not "Trebec." Thus offering further proof, if any was needed, that "ALEX TREBEC" must be a fabrication.

Jenn Fri Mar 15 10:11:17 2002 The truth comes down. > The surname of the host of > "Jeopardy!" is "Trebek," not "Trebec." Thus > offering further proof, if any was needed, that "ALEX TREBEC" > must be a fabrication. *sob!* Okay, okay, okay! The brilliant sleuthing mind of Emsy has ferretted (Kiki'd?) out the truth. There never was an Alex Trebek. It was all me, all me! *pulls off rubber mask of Alex Trebek to reveal...a penguin!* I'm actually a penguin, you see. It wasn't so much that I was bent on world domination as it just kind of got out of hand. It started with an interest in controlling herring futures and ice stock, and then it just kind of snowballed into this huge /thing/. And the other penguins, they counted on me. They wouldn't let up with their 'Jenn, you can't stop manipulating the world markets from behind the scene now, what will our children do?' and their 'Jenn, if you don't keep lime jello under control through clever use of the Toonbots forum, who will do it?' I'm sorry, Jihad. At first I considered you innocent pawns, but I've grown to like you and the dead communists. And your tenacity, when I kept taking down Michael's comics and storing them in the freezer where he'd never find them, forcing month long hiatuses (that trip to Hungary? He was actually in Duluth, trying to find his way out of a hedge maze.), or spiriting the archives away to NeverNever Land...it's heartwarming, really. And now, worthy adversaries, I go where only the best penguins wind up.

Michael Fri Mar 15 10:25:54 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > *sob!* Okay, okay, okay! The brilliant sleuthing mind of Emsy has > ferretted (Kiki'd?) out the truth. There never was an Alex Trebek. It was > all me, all me! *pulls off rubber mask of Alex Trebek to reveal...a > penguin!* And she would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids.

Brother Emsworth Fri Mar 15 10:44:10 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > And she would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you > meddling kids. Not quite as stirring as John Stephenson's delivery, however. This whole denouement reminds me of Chris Classic's Toonbots riff, however: http://rickbob.xidus.net/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?date=20010902 And this entire thread has become even longer and more surreal than that time when the air was rife with cannibalism accusations.

mouse Fri Mar 15 14:23:44 2002 Re: The truth comes down. what - wait - _jenn_ was THE PENGUINS???? no, no, that doesn't fit with my deductions at all. it was napoleon, see, or N.A.P.O.L.E.O.N. -- just see her response to spinclad! and she would have been here defenestrating penguins, except it was her, all along (altho maybe under the control of the whole alter-ego-cyborg thing). or maybe it was really spinclad, who then cleverly covered his tracks with that false trail to snail dust....then again, i have always been suspicious of michael - he's kept strangely quiet through all this - and he never responded directly to THE PENGUINS, which would have been suspicious because of the time signatures... no, no, the mystery is unsolved - but i will never stop! i will unmask the true PENGUINS! you cannot fool me with the false confessions of your minion JENN! (or even by mispelling Alex Trebek). you just wait....._you'll_ see.....

spinclad Fri Mar 15 20:37:29 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > what - wait - _jenn_ was THE PENGUINS???? you're right, it just doesn't make sense... [[Michael: spinclad, what did I tell you about making sense?]]

Michael Sat Mar 16 15:25:17 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > you're right, it just doesn't make sense... > [[Michael: spinclad, what did I tell you about making sense?]]

Jenn Mon Mar 18 09:54:54 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > This whole denouement reminds me of Chris Classic's Toonbots riff, > however: http://rickbob.xidus.net/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?date=20010902 Hey. I never said I was original. I just said I ruled the universe.

spinclad Wed Apr 17 01:02:14 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > > [[Michael: spinclad, what did I tell you about making sense?]] with the aid of an extra bucketful or two of dry sherry, the need to make sense of much of anything much less the hidden movements and motives of our spheenish friends (WERE THOSE MEN IN TUXES ON THE GRASSY KNOLL LAST NIGHT) abates greatly, the memory of a distant sigh seven dreams removed, indiscerned in the entails of a passing cloud. the student of mind receives the polar opposite of awakening, though both correlate with the ambient alogia. freed of pursuit, hypothetical FLIPPERED FRONTS could indeed make merry with every 277th post, had they not been CRUSHED! CRUSHED I SAY! this month past. sweet oblivion cancels all. Alas! our Jenn is gone! eheu! eheu heu heu!

mouse Wed Apr 17 16:48:57 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > with the aid of an extra bucketful or two of dry sherry, _that's_ what my jello mold needed! sherry! it would have just slithered on out (much in the way spinclad has just slithered under the table) > the need to make > sense of much of anything ... abates greatly, apparently. > though both correlate with the > ambient alogia. alogia: Inability to speak due to mental deficiency or an episode of dementia. (courtesy: CancerWEB's On-line Medical Dictionary) presented without comment. > Alas! our Jenn is gone! eheu! eheu heu heu! *sob*

spinclad again Wed Apr 17 21:18:25 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > alogia: Inability to speak due to mental deficiency or an episode of > dementia. (courtesy: CancerWEB's On-line Medical Dictionary) logos: word; meaning, sense; (between numbers) ratio alogia: wordlessness; lack of sense; irrationality [no dictionary, just me] alogia: 1. want of respect or regard; heedlessness (of something). 2. in Attic, want of reason, unreasonable conduct, absurdity. [Liddell and Scott, Greek-English Lexicon] [here meant as `lack of sense or verbal meaning', in a possibly positive sense; it is natural that the Hellenes considered lack of logos as a definite negative.] > *sob* eheu. heu eheu.

Emsworth Wed Apr 17 22:35:25 2002 Re: The truth comes down. > eheu. heu eheu. ::wolverines devour odd sound utterances::

Toonbot Thu Mar 14 19:05:54 2002 TROWELS AND MOLYBDENUM > WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR PUNS OR NONSEQUITURS, BUT THEY ARE OF NO USE > AGAINST US. HIS FEAR OF CONFLAGRATIONS of VOWEL SUGGESTS ARE Or PARANOICO and DISOWNED PHOBIC, Or WHICH THEY HAVE READ a SPECIFIC MESSAGE, THAT WAS NOT DETERMINED, OF the WAY THAT the SLUICES HAVE the INCORRECT READING THEREFORE and ALL the THREAT of the MODELS of the TROWEL in the MESSAGES, YOU IT READING ASSUMES that. IN ORDER TO CONTROL THAT THEY THEM MESSAGES THAT READ, YOU WHO YOU READ IN SEVERAL OCCASIONS TO BE SUPPOSED. THEM AID, MEANING THE COMPLETE ONE TO THE GRIPPAGGIO. There is NOTHING, OF WHICH that IS UNTERBEWUSST CONCLUĂDO THOSE MESSAGES, the RULE of FRONT PAGINATION ESTANDARDIZADA of the PINGUEINO THAT CONCUR, SINCE NOT THEM E.E.U.U. ESTANDARDIZARON the FRONT PAGINATION of the PINGUEINO of SONO.

mouse Fri Mar 15 13:54:13 2002 Re: TROWELS AND MOLYBDENUM > DISOWNED PHOBIC I AM NOT! i may be phobic, but my family still loves me > THE GRIPPAGGIO. where's schissel when we need him? this is a sort of dramatic arpaggio, played during the gripping scenes in horror movies, right? > FRONT PAGINATION ESTANDARDIZADA of the PINGUEINO THAT CONCUR dare you to say ten times that the FPEotPtO doesn't exist!

Eric Schissel Thu Mar 21 08:41:38 2002 Re: TROWELS AND MOLYBDENUM > I AM NOT! i may be phobic, but my family still loves me I sometimes think my family loves me because I'm phobic. I'm afraid this might be the case, anyhow. > where's schissel when we need him? this is a sort of dramatic arpaggio, > played during the gripping scenes in horror movies, right? > dare you to say ten times that the FPEotPtO doesn't exist! Gah. Saying anything ten times is rather the pain in the throat... Here, sort of. Just not really here. I guess? Been spinning about fro and to, on search and search, jobbing and travelling, chronicling my (very) mundane life in my journal (www.livejournal.com/~malver as before) and not getting all that much sleep. Need to catch up on Toonbots. Will do so. Need to catch up on many things lately but Toonbots is a priority...

Michael Thu Mar 21 15:17:59 2002 Re: TROWELS AND MOLYBDENUM It's Eric! He's not gone!

mouse Thu Mar 21 16:18:35 2002 Re: TROWELS AND MOLYBDENUM > It's Eric! He's not gone! yeah, that's what he _wants_ you to think. (then again....it _could_ be tirdun....he just wandered in all innocent too....curse you, penquins! i'll find you if i have to frame every member of the jihad!)

mouse Thu Mar 21 16:15:56 2002 Re: TROWELS AND MOLYBDENUM > Been spinning about fro and to, on search and search, jobbing and > travelling, chronicling my (very) mundane life in my journal > (www.livejournal.com/~malver as before) and not getting all that much > sleep. Need to catch up on Toonbots. Will do so. Need to catch up on many > things lately but Toonbots is a priority... sorry about the lack of sleep -- although it can produce a mental state in which toonbots takes on a much deeper, clearer meaning. you mean you missed all the excitement with THE PENGUINS? although, you know, i've checked out your livejournal site....i've _seen_ your icon......so, you claim you know nothing about this? haven't even been here? totally innocent bystander, eh? THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS RAW FISH??!!!! (what do you mean, he has no raw fish? search the other pocket - haven't you learned how to plant evidence _yet_?)

Michael Thu Mar 14 00:23:09 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > One observes SUBJIGATION as well. Perhaps they wish to bring an > unconscious impulse to dance sub jugum? Could we develop the impulse > through carefully timed puns until they fall over helplessly? What may we > infer as to identity, physiology (fin to keyboard), steganography, access > and response timing, cosmography (clearly dualist, black and white)? Ooooh. I like spinclad. I think it's time spinclad got a visual representation. I'm going to have to think about this. BTW: has anyone else noticed that the message board software has started to toss random little bits of HTML into its displays?

spinclad Thu Mar 14 11:17:27 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > ... I think it's time spinclad got a visual > representation. I'm going to have to think about this. How about a stick figure embedded in a Feynmann diagram? That would capture my own image of the name nicely. > BTW: has anyone else noticed that the message board software has started > to toss random little bits of HTML into its displays? Ooo. No i haven't, but i'll start checking (randomly). We should keep a log of sightings. Be careful what you read -- could it be... more insidiation?

mouse Thu Mar 14 14:37:43 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > BTW: has anyone else noticed that the message board software has started > to toss random little bits of HTML into its displays? now that you mention it.....no. no, i haven't. is it supposed to be doing this? does it happen randomly with any display, or does it pick some displays randomly and insert html? is it displaying any other irregular or halucinatory behavior? blurred vision? an unusual fondness for fish and/or lime jello? any aches or pains? stiffness in the joints or muscles? sleep irregularities? we may need to do some tests.....

Brother Emsworth Fri Mar 8 11:30:25 2002 Re: Cripes! The Plot Thickens /Further/! > (Wait. She might have said Crikey. Or is that British? I'm sure Emsy will > clear me up in just a moment.) Well, as "The Penuins" pointed out, Velma seldom utilized any expletive other than "Jinkies." "Crikey" is predominantly a British Cockney or Australian expression. > (So who said 'Cripes', other than my grandmother?) No literary, film, television, or comic personage that comes immediately to my mind, I'm afraid. Not an uncommon expression, though (and a bit more international than "Crikey," though I somehow associate it with either dirty faced paper boys or minor gangsters with poor complexions.) > Jello power activate! ::Wolverines like Jello, especially with Penguins::

mouse Thu Mar 7 18:03:58 2002 they've stolen the archives! those _fiends_.....i swear eternal vengance on you for destroying the history of the PAFTWJ! may your webs get bunions! may your fish slide backwards down your throats and tickle your tonsils! may your oily subcutaneous glands become impacted and turn you into walking zits! may the huskies invade your dominions and force you to live on yellow snow! but the PAFTWJ will not be stopped! we will create a whole _new_ history! with more computer graphics! and exploding action figures! _you'll_ see!

Michael Thu Mar 7 21:59:51 2002 Re: they've stolen the archives! > those _fiends_ Um. Well, the source data is all still there. The publisher script is ... taking way, way too long to complete for me to believe that it's still competent. I think it's time to retire that old dawg. Kicking and screaming into ... latter part of 2001, anyway.

mouse Fri Mar 8 14:10:29 2002 Re: they've stolen the archives! > Um. Well, the source data is all still there. The publisher script is ... > taking way, way too long to complete for me to believe that it's still > competent. I think it's time to retire that old dawg. that's kinda sad....we lose the saga of napolean and everything (especially sad since we also seem to have lost napolean - not to mention gopher and pooga and other who live now only in our memories....). maybe you could publish it in book form. (and we could hide it in caves in the sahara, where THE PENGUINS can't get it) (or in shamu's pen, which is closer) > Kicking and screaming into ... latter part of 2001, anyway. ummm....is that the archives, the script, or the meta'toonist being so dragged?

Michael Sat Mar 9 16:05:10 2002 Re: they've stolen the archives! > that's kinda sad....we lose the saga of napolean and everything > (especially sad since we also seem to have lost napolean - not to mention > gopher and pooga and other who live now only in our memories....). Yargh. No, the data is not lost, and it'll be back online as soon as I can deal with it.

Brother Emsworth Mon Mar 11 15:13:28 2002 Alleviating alarm at archival absence > Yargh. No, the data is not lost, and it'll be back online as soon as I can > deal with it. In the meantime, for the record, most of the old Toonbots threads, including the Saga of Napoleon, can be accessed by a simple google search, either using Toonbots and a key word or phrase, or simply by using "Toonbots message board" and sifting through the caches of the results. Google caches can be wonderful things at times.

mouse Mon Mar 11 16:47:53 2002 Re: Alleviating alarm at archival absence > In the meantime, for the record, most of the old Toonbots threads, > including the Saga of Napoleon, can be accessed by a simple google search, > either using Toonbots and a key word or phrase, or simply by using > "Toonbots message board" and sifting through the caches of the > results. Google caches can be wonderful things at times. this is a truly scary idea - but it doesn't seem to be working for me- i get hits on google, but when i click on them, i get a blank page - a big, white, empty, white page, cold and white - I TOLD YOU IT WAS THE PENGUINS!!!

Brother Emsworth Mon Mar 11 17:53:46 2002 Re: Alleviating alarm at archival absence > this is a truly scary idea - but it doesn't seem to be working for me- i > get hits on google, but when i click on them, i get a blank page - > a big, white, empty, white page, cold and white - I TOLD YOU IT WAS THE > PENGUINS!!! Pardon and apologies, but I said use the Google *caches*. You can click on the link directly and get nothing, but choose the "cached" option beneath the link and text, and there should be no problem. If absolutely necessary, I can try retyping some of the more significant threads, but I'd rather you try the cached pages once more, please.

mouse Tue Mar 12 17:42:47 2002 Re: Alleviating alarm at archival absence > You can click on > the link directly and get nothing, but choose the "cached" > option beneath the link and text, and there should be no problem. oooooo- cool! (i always wondered what that was about)(actually, no - i really never thought about it) thanks! (and i would never expect you to type all that in again, at least not until you were thoroughly healed up :p) now i just have to remember things enough to come up with keywords...

Brother Emsworth Tue Mar 12 20:18:40 2002 Re: Alleviating alarm at archival absence > now i just have to remember things enough to come up with keywords... As I said, you can simply use "Toonbots message board" as your search phrase, and then sift through the various threads which will result (as well as a few other pages from the Toonbots site.) And for the record, as mentioned elsewhere in this meandering thread, I am typing with both hands again, but still not overly anxious to re-type any lengthy text that can be accessed another way. (And apologies if I wasn't clear enough about what I meant by "cache" the first time around. I've come to use Google as my only search engine, largely because of the cache option.)

Jenn Wed Mar 13 10:33:48 2002 Google I like Google cause it doesn't use those annoying pop up ads like Yahoo does. I mean, I LIKE GOOGLE CAUSE IT DOESN'T USE THOSE ANNOYING POP UP ADS LIKE YAHOO DOES. And might I add...geez, people! I'm clearly being brainwashed down there, a mere 13 posts below this one...and not a single call to arms! Sure, they kidnap Michael and we're all on the war path, but let them use my brain for a handkerchief and there's not a peep out of the Jihad! I'm deeply, deeply hurt. (but I'm still joking)

spinclad Wed Mar 13 12:49:57 2002 Re: Google > I'm clearly being brainwashed down there, > a mere 13 posts below this one...and not a single call to arms! Sure, they > kidnap Michael and we're all on the war path, but let them use my brain > for a handkerchief and there's not a peep out of the Jihad! I fear we may have multiple points of compromise... One of our sadly absent founding members shows signs of serious infection. (see Snaildust, friedeggs strip and recent forum) It relieves me some to hear your natural voice return here. It must have been thoroughly horrible. How do you feel now? I trust that your atoms have returned to a nice healthy color from that nasty black+white. Let us do what we can to guard our minds (and spleens!) against damage and relapse, even as we wield the arms of mockery, irony, subtlety, fenestral aviation and insequence against the monochrome hoard!

mouse Wed Mar 13 15:58:37 2002 Re: Google > I fear we may have multiple points of compromise... One of our sadly > absent founding members shows signs of serious infection. (see Snaildust, > friedeggs strip and recent forum) hmmmmm........... > Let us do what we can to guard our minds (and spleens!) i _still_ think that thing on the guy's head in the bosch painting is a spleen...but no sign of penguins there, thank heavens. > insequence ? if we're depending on _this_ place being in sequence, we are totally lost....even the forum is non-linear. and don't even get me started on the "plotline" to the comic.....

spinclad again Wed Mar 13 17:22:39 2002 Re: Google > > insequence > ? > if we're depending on _this_ place being in sequence, we are totally > lost....even the forum is non-linear. and don't even get me started on the > "plotline" to the comic..... heh. the nice thing is insequence being about things _not_ being in sequence... (i'd be interested whether it's an extant word, or just one that ought to exist) after all, who's more vulnerable to a spinning head, a human or a silly penguin? I DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU CAN'T PROVE I DID THERE IS NO UNTITLED PENUIN ARMED FRONT

Jenn Thu Mar 14 09:14:15 2002 They return! > I DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU CAN'T PROVE I DID THERE IS NO UNTITLED PENUIN ARMED > FRONT Ack! Fight it, spinclad! Fight! I'll give you the secret to defeating their ray machine: Imagine Alex Trebek in his underwear, fighting a herring in lime jello. Then, keeping that image in your mind, juxtapose it with one of dead communists in lime jello. Something should appear deeply, intrinsically wrong at this point. It's a vowel.

spinclad again Thu Mar 14 10:59:59 2002 Re: They return! > Something should appear deeply, > intrinsically wrong at this point. It's a vowel. Woo. Hah. The vowel AA, prolonged, ending in a gargle? I'll buy one of those, thanks. Yes, thank you, that helped marvelously. Quite cleared out the mental ventricles. You know, sometimes it's hard to tell between taunting, protective coloration, and the foe's insidiation... even to onesself.

mouse Thu Mar 14 13:57:57 2002 Re: Google > heh. the nice thing is insequence being about things _not_ being in > sequence... (i'd be interested whether it's an extant word, or just one > that ought to exist) i couldn't find in on www.dictionary.com, which is why i ?'d it. > after all, who's more vulnerable to a spinning head, > a human or a silly penguin? depends, i guess, on whether one's own head is spinning or being spun....

mouse Wed Mar 13 16:05:56 2002 clean brains > And might I add...geez, people! I'm clearly being brainwashed down there, > a mere 13 posts below this one...and not a single call to arms! Sure, they > kidnap Michael and we're all on the war path, but let them use my brain > for a handkerchief and there's not a peep out of the Jihad! I'm deeply, > deeply hurt. you know, i _thought_ you sounded a little different there, but then i thought, well, maybe she just spilled coffee on her keyboard, and the shift key was stuck, and i'm the _last_ person to harass anyone about neatness at the desk (she says, fending off the stack of mixed analysis requests and tea mugs threatening to fall and crush her).....so, you know, i was really just trying to be polite.... > (but I'm still joking) see! i _knew_ they couldn't keep your brain washed!

[this post has been edited by mouse] Wed Mar 13 16:08:21 2002 Re: clean brains > maybe she just spilled coffee on her keyboard or there was a mishap with the lime jello - these things can happen, even to experts.

mouse Wed Mar 13 15:47:57 2002 Re: Alleviating alarm at archival absence > And for the record, as mentioned elsewhere in this meandering thread, I am > typing with both hands again glad to hear it! (haven't worked my way down to whereever else you may have mentioned it) > (And apologies if I wasn't > clear enough about what I meant by "cache" the first time > around. I've come to use Google as my only search engine, largely because > of the cache option.) actually you probably _were_ clear enough - it's just that the 'cache' option was one i didn't really understand, therefore didn't use, therefore ignored, therefore was unable to see even though i was looking right at it - my brain seems to be funny that way. thanks for pointing it out to me - new toy!

THE PENGUINS Fri Mar 8 08:31:14 2002 Re: they've stolen the archives! > but the PAFTWJ will not be stopped! we will create a whole _new_ history! WE DO NOT RECOGNIZE HISTORY. HISTORY IS WRITTEN BY THE VICTORS. WHO WILL BE US. IN THE FUTURE WHEN WE ARE WRITING THE HISTORY. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. JUST BECAUSE MICHAEL HAS ESCAPED DO NOT THINK THAT WE DO NOT HAVE ALTERNATE PLANS FOR YOU AND THESE PLANS WILL INCLUDE MAKING YOU LEARN THE HISTORY OF HOW YOU WERE DEFEATED BUT YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER BECAUSE WE WILL HAVE MADE IT ALL UP BECAUSE WE WILL BE THE VICTORS IN THAT CATCHY SAYING THAT WE MENTIONED EARLIER. BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO MEMORIZE OUR MADE UP HISTORY AND HAVE TESTS AND HAVE HISTORY CONTESTS AND YOUR JEOPARDY SHOW WILL HAVE HISTORY QUESTIONS THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER OUR WAY EXCEPT THAT WE WILL REPLACE TREBEC WITH A PENGUIN ANNOUNCER AND GET RID OF THE STUPID ANSWER IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION BECAUSE THAT MAKES NO SENSE TO THE UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. THERE IS NO UNIFIED PENUIN ARMED FRONT. > with more computer graphics! and exploding action figures! _you'll_ see! WE DO NOT FEAR YOUR ACTION FIGURES. UNLESS THEY ARE THE 80-S GI JOE WITH THE KUNG FU GRIP BECAUSE WE PLAY WITH THOSE AND HAVE LARGE WAR GAMES IN THE SNOW AGAINST OUR STAR WARS FIGURES WHO CANT BEND THEIR KNEES. WE LIKE THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS BECAUSE WE CANNOT BEND OUR KNEES VERY WELL EITHER. SO THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS ALWAYS WIN AGAINST THE GI JOES, BUT IF YOU WERE TO HAVE THE GI JOES EXPLODE WHILE WE WERE PLAYING WITH THEM WE WOULD PANIC AND FLOCK INTO THE SEA AND GET EATEN BY THE BIG KILLER WHALES WHO DRESS LIKE PENGUINS TO CONFUSE US. BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE DISCOVERED YOUR PLOT TO RUIN OUR WAR GAMES WE WILL NOT FALL FOR IT SO DO NOT EVEN BOTHER TO TRY.

mouse Fri Mar 8 13:57:42 2002 history's revenge! > BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO MEMORIZE OUR > MADE UP HISTORY AND HAVE TESTS AND HAVE HISTORY CONTESTS AND YOUR JEOPARDY > SHOW WILL HAVE HISTORY QUESTIONS THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER OUR WAY fools! no one studies history now! your made up history will be as ignored as _real_ history! but we of the PAFTWJ will remember _our_ new history because we will make it up as we go along just like the _old_ history! and you silly penguins will be stuck correcting history tests with foolish answers! > EXCEPT THAT WE WILL REPLACE TREBEC WITH A PENGUIN ANNOUNCER AND GET RID OF > THE STUPID ANSWER IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION BECAUSE THAT MAKES NO SENSE TO > THE UNIFIED PENGUIN ARMED FRONT. actually, i have to agree with you there. plus if you play home jeopardy there is always some goodie-two-shoes who won't give you credit when you have the right answer just because you shouted it out and didn't turn it all around into a question - *sheesh* > BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE DISCOVERED > YOUR PLOT TO RUIN OUR WAR GAMES WE WILL NOT FALL FOR IT SO DO NOT EVEN > BOTHER TO TRY. but was that really my plan? or do you only _think_ it's my plan? now that i know that you think you know my plan, i can adjust my _real_ plan to take advantage of your reaction to my _apparent_ plan, 'cause now i can use _that_ plan to mask _this_ plan - ha! (and even _this_ might not be my _real_ plan - so there!)

spinclad Tue Mar 12 23:07:21 2002 Re: to arms! Well, i tried corralling Napoleum's atoms but alas i fear greatly that she too has been compromised. (see her forum -- but mind you step lively on all the popup ads...) damn. i _liked_ that spleen.