mouse Mon Jan 7 12:17:20 2002
i meant to do that
....it was an extremely subtle joke, spoofing the inherent inconsistencies of XML script and WebBBS, playing on the anxieties of the jihad (of the prospects of your silence and my loquacity), capped with a gentle jibe at same.
> This is a super-dee-duper episode.
> and he also likes eggs, so this movie really clicked for him.
um, should i be worried about this conjunction of terms? dig out my egg-proof shirt?
anyway: here now, the real thing (with stupid angle brackets replaced by square brackets, so _you_ will just have to put those all back) - and also some other stuff i thunk up later: (also i put in comments in curly brackets, just for character clarification - i would never put myself in the toon, my self-aggrandizement is limited to mention in the blurbs)(also for the most part, i am just guessing on how long a line i can make before i need a break) (this also seems to be lacking line feeds. i put in line feeds - now i'll put in # to signify end-of-line, and extra line feeds between panels)(next time, i'll write it in chinese, which will be _much_ clearer)
[cartoon height="750" width="700" rowformat="1"]# [panel]# [character name="lenin" aspect="faceright"/]# [character name="mao"/]# [character name="al" aspect="2 faceleft"/]# [caption location="top left" fgcolor="orange"] MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MASSACREE: [/caption]# [caption location="bottom left" fgcolor="red"]{LENIN} the horror....the horror...[/caption]# [caption location="top center" fgcolor="red"] {MAO} Len, that's a different movie. Besides, you're a communist - [br/]it's better to have a running-dog capitalist company owning [br/] Pickle Crisp anyway [/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue"]{AL} Um, guys? Shouldn't we be trying to finish the storyline?[/caption]# [/panel]
[panel] [/panel] {THIS IS MEANT TO BE A PANEL W/CHARACTERS BUT NO DIALOG}
[panel]# [caption location="top right" fgcolor="blue"]{AL} Guys? [/caption]# [caption location="bottom center" fgcolor="red"] {MAO} We're waiting for the theme to come around again [/caption]# [/panel]
[panel] [/panel] {AS PANEL 2, ABOVE}
[panel]# [caption location="top right" fgcolor="blue"]{AL} We have a theme? [/caption] [/panel]# [/cartoon]
Blurb: impelled by the twin horns of terror of a toonless future and outright ego(t)ism, mouse seizes the reins in her teeth and lashes the toon-o-matic into action. fasten your seatbelts, boys, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
*****AND ANOTHER ONE!********
[cartoon height="600" width="700" rowformat="1"]# [panel]# [character name="lenin" aspect="faceright"/]# [character name="mao"/]# [character name="al" aspect="2 faceright"/]# [caption location="top left" fgcolor="red"] {LENIN} I'm too depressed to use the Pickle Crisp theme [/caption]# [caption location="bottom center" fgcolor="red"] {MAO} OK, how hard can a new theme be? [br/] This is a parody, after all. [br/] All we have to do is parody "Alice's Restaurant" [/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue" size="10"]{AL} Maybe there's something in the script [/caption]# [/panel]
[panel]# [caption location="top left" fgcolor="red"] {LENIN} Dum dum dum, You can get any zing you want, [br/] with D&Z's Smoking Insects and Cybornetic Collective [/caption]# [caption location="bottom center" fgcolor="red"]{MAO} ...or not [/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue" size="10"] {AL} I should be studying my lines anyway.. [/caption]# [/panel]
[panel]# [caption location="top left" fgcolor="red"] {LENIN} We could tell jokes. A nun, a leprechaun, and a wolverine [br/] walk into a bar.... [/caption]# [caption location="bottom center" fgcolor="red"] {MAO} Look, we need to get back to something [br/] resembling a direction here. [/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue" size="10"] {AL} Is this my script? [/caption]# [character name="lenin" action="leaves"/]# [/panel]
[panel]# [character name="me" aspect="pensive"/]# [character name="lenin" aspect="faceleft"]# [caption location="top left" fgcolor="orange"]{MICHAEL} Hello? [/caption]# [caption location="bottom left" fgcolor="red"](LENIN} OFFICER OBIE! [/caption]# [/cartoon]
Blurg: with ears battened down, teeth clenched and eyes tightly squinched shut, mouse sneaks under the radar and staggers valiantly on in search of a plot (or at least a burst of outraged activity in the forum).
***************AND MORE!****************
(boy this is addictive - but hard on the little fingers)
[cartoon height="900" width="800" rowformat="1"]# [panel]# [caption location="center" fgcolor="black"] RECAP: Here at the Kremlin, our heros, having finished their Defenestration Day feast, have been aroused by the arrival of an indignant Officer Obie. Al, searching through the script, has discovered that Fascia not only has no lines, but almost no face time. By the side of the side road, the cartoonists, still fuming at being characterized as "garbage", have begun fermenting Coke for use as eggnog, and drawing rude caricatures of Michael. Poolside, Otu has passed his backstoke test, and is learning fly. Meanwhile, in another part of the forest, N.A.P.O.L.E.O.N., having failed the backstroke and been ejected from the pool, still searches for Lenin, to finalize the integration of Lenin's Cereals with D&H Smoking Insects and Cybornetic Collective. Dot, having washed her hands of the entire plotline, is in negotiations with Dubya to get a tax break for the revitilization of the dot-com industry. The nun, the leprechaun and the wolverine are drinking beer and singing old college songs. The bear has been declared out of season and thus null and void. The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon - what? [/caption]# [/panel]
[panel] [character name="me" aspect="pensive"/]# [character name="lenin" aspect="faceleft"/]# [character name="mao"/]# [character name="al" aspect="2 faceleft"/]# [caption location="top left" fgcolor="orange"]{MICHAEL} I'm not actually Officer Obie, I was just [br/] hoping you guys remembered where the hole was....[/caption]# [caption location="bottom left" fgcolor="red"]{LENIN} Officer Obie sir, I cannot tell a lie. [br/] _I_ put that caricature at the bottom of the garbage! [/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue" size="10"]{AL} Hey - where are _my_ lines? [/caption]# [/panel]
[panel]# [caption location="top left" fgcolor="orange"]{MICHAEL} ..because I really need to get back [br/] and deal with my workload...[br/] what caricature? [/caption]# [caption location="bottom left" fgcolor="red"] {LENIN} And _I_ shot the sheriff! [/caption]# [caption location="bottom center" fgcolor="red" size="10"] {MAO} You're playing the dog, Al. [br/] Dogs don't get lines [/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue" size="10"]{AL} Well, _that_ doesn't help me! [br/] Did someone mention cyborgs? [/caption]# [/panel]
[panel] [caption location="top left" fgcolor="orange"] {MICHAEL} HEY! Who drew this picture of me on the backside of a wolverine! [/caption]# [caption location="bottom center" fgcolor="red" size="10"]{MAO} Al, you're regressing [/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue" size="10"]{AL} Must be those Time Loops [br/] I had for breakfast [/caption]# [character name="me" action="leaves"/]# [character name="lenin" action="leaves"/]# [character name="mao" action="leaves"/]# [character name="al" action="leaves"/]# [/panel]
[panel] [caption location="center" fgcolor="black"] YES, TIME LOOPS! THE HEARTY FLAVOR OF ARTIFICIAL FRUIT [br/] COUPLED WITH THE WHOLESOME GOODNESS OF INFINITE TEMPORAL [br/]LOOPS! HAVE SOME FOR BREAKFAST TODAY, AND YOU'LL EAT THEM AGAIN br/] AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN ANDAGAIN ANDAGAINANDAGAINANDAGAINANAGAINANAGINANDAGINADNAGAINANDGN [/caption]# [caption location="bottom center" fgcolor="black" size="10"] (brought to you by D&R, manufacturers of Rolled Ants [br/] and other quasi-nutritional substances)[/caption]# [caption location="bottom right" fgcolor="blue"] NEXT: TROUT! [/caption]# [/panel] [/cartoon]
Blurb: after a brief attempt to run off madly in all directions, mouse returns to the well-worn comfort of the closed loop, hoping that, in casting over the back trail, she may encounter some trace of a joke, or at least a handy catchphrase.
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